I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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