and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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