I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
