this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
