You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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