He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize