Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
