somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
