At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
