Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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