just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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