if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
