I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I believe in your delicious
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
