What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
