her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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