We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
