I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize