looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
