"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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