I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
