i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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