Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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