You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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