remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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