Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Houston, we have a squirter
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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