No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
