Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
