I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
