Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she smelled like a LAN party
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
