would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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