drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you have to choose: penises or morals?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Success! We fucked roommates!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
