did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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