Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
