Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
