I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
