I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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