the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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