He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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