Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
being pregnant is like rehab
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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