Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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