so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
