Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize