You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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