You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
