How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
