I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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