with your own penis?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize