Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
