some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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