Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do you still have your period?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I lost the right to judge tonight
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
