just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
