On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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