Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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