that's an acceptable place to lick
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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