i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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