I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I believe in your delicious
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
