i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
