But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
