So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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