soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
