Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
