i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
