the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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